TRANSPLANTS: INTRO AND OBSERVATIONS FROM WEEK 1
I'M AN ALIEN
Since I got to Brooklyn, I’ve had an earworm lodged in my head. Walking down a quiet (and freezing) street, I’ll unmoor myself from present reality and drift into daydream, and it’s not long before the refrain from Sting’s mid-tier 1987 hit, ‘Englishman in New York’, squirms its way into my psychic ear. I don’t know any of the other lyrics, but “I’m an alien; I’m a legal alien” has gone triple-platinum in my brain. I must have heard the song first as a child and, up until embarrassingly recently, I was convinced that the correct lyrics were ‘I’m an evil alien’.
I quite like the sci-fi ring of the term ‘alien’. In the last few months, it’s gained more humorous connotations with the internet’s skewering of Donald Trump for his assertion (in a presidential debate) that Kamala Harris wanted to “do transgender operations on illegal aliens in prison”. In New York, over ‘alien’, the moniker ‘transplant’ is gaining steam. Meaning something similar, it’s used fairly condescendingly by those born and raised here. But considering that around half1 of this city’s residents are estimated to have been born elsewhere, it’s one I’m comfortable to claim.
Though I’m writing insouciantly, it goes without saying that land occupancy and immigration are highly fraught topics in the US. I don’t want to belittle them, especially with conditions only set to become more difficult for most migrants - legal and ‘illegal’ (undocumented) - under the new administration. But this isn’t the column where I will go into those topics profoundly, though I do have strong thoughts. Instead, this is intended to be a light-hearded series to observe some of the more trivial and curious differences that I’ve noticed between my prior home, London (I was technically also a transplant there, since I grew up on the South coast of England) and my current home, New York.
If anyone has visited either of (or both) cities, I’d love to hear your take.
5 OBSERVATIONS FROM WEEK 1
Fitness instructors always learn your name at the start of a class. I was astounded by this, considering it’s very rare in London and the class sizes can be 20-30 people. To remember just one new person’s name at the time of meeting them, I need to repeat the name over and over in my head (and ideally out loud; strangers love it). These instructors can have the entire class’s names down pat, no paper no notes, within 5 minutes. Baffled by this, I asked a barre instructor how she did it at the end of one class; she shrugged and said she’d become a master at making up mnemonics. In keeping with the names, US instructors are also far more enthusiastic than in the UK, bordering on proselytising (I once heard a SoulCycle instructor say that being on the bike could help us “ascend to a new stratosphere of body consciousness”). I quite like it.
The coffee is bad here. At least if you like unsweetened espresso drinks. I know my friends from/in Australia might say the same about London, but at least you can get something like a good flat white for under $10 at more than a few cafes there. Here, you’ll get diner filter (inexpensively) or a cupful of lukewarm milk (very expensively).
Uggs are really popular in New York, in a different way to London. In the UK, I’d wager they (now) transcend class; Uggs and Ugg variants are just the comfiest, most available shoes you can find when you need to nip to Tesco or walk the dog. Here, they seem to be a leisure class signifier; attend any boutique pilates session and a good 75%+ of the attendees will be wearing them (especially the platform ones), along with an extremely expensive puffer jacket and an over-ear elastic headband. It’s probably a tenured Bella Hadid effect.
Bella Hadid wearing platform Uggs in September 2022 People use the present continuous tense (and the going-to future tense) so much more here than in the UK. Now, stick with me on this one, because I do love linguistics. Especially from those in the service industry, you’re much more likely to hear a sentence like ‘the burger comes with fries’ phrased as ‘the burger is gonna be coming with fries’, or ‘how is everything?’ as ‘how’s everything tasting for you?’. There’s nothing wrong with this per se, but it tickles me.
Stickers, especially the branded ones you might expect to decorate the bottom of a skateboard, are everywhere in New York. I know we have these stickers in the UK, but I’ve never see them with quite this density in public spaces (railings, lampposts, windows). My friend Emily pointed out that it feels like every ‘scene-y’ small business has to have its own merch here, and I suppose it’s to be expected with the relentless self-promotion you need to survive in this city. That said, I do love a sticker (preferably not branded) and I will be collecting the best ones. My favourite so far says “I’m an artist, I’m just like, not a real one” on it.
On the linguistics point - when Americans in general order they love to say ‘I’ll do’ instead of ‘Can I have’ e.g. I’ll do the steak. Also when I was in Boston fast food servers were unnervingly friendly.